Just had to call the police to escort a raging woman from the library. She couldn't understand why we needed her to verify her address: it's just that she has several cards and several names and a streak of belligerence that manifests itself by shouting profanity at the staff and scaring the little children in the building. She put a hex on one of the circulation staff because she's a self-proclaimed professional practicing witch. The staff member did not pay for the hex, however, so I'm still skeptical about the "professional" part.

Eiseley

P.S. Yep, betcha don't miss this part of the work, eh?