I came across this song today on John McCutcheon's Signs of the Times and it really struck me.
-Joe Offer-
Lament
words and music by John McCutcheon
This song is based on all-too-many very true stories.
I'm so glad you came to see me and you brought the baby too
God, it gets so lonesome in this place, there's nothing here to do
Yes, I know I've caused you trouble and I know I've brought you pain
But if I could roll back time, you know, I'd do it all again
Tom and I we met in high school, yes it was love at first sight
He was, oh, so kind and gentle and our young love seemed so right
At 16 I was a mother, 17 became a wife
Tom found some work , we bought a trailer, settled to a happy life
In '69 there came a letter, such a shock brought by the mail
We both understood its meaning: go to war or go to jail
Tom he said, "I ain't no killer, but I love my country, Nan,
"I've got to prove it to myself and to my family I'm a man!"
Lord, we loved all night the day before he left for Vietnam
Everyday there was a letter from my brave, young soldier Tom
Filled with dreams about our future: a big yard, a house and such
Oh, I know the war would change him, but I never guessed how much
Those two years seemed an eternity till Tom came home from war
There was something hard about him that I'd never seen before
And he never once spoke to me all about the things he'd seen
Through at night he'd wake up screaming from some ugly, constant dream
And he never seemed to notice the new things the baby did
And when he'd cry out, Tom would yell, "Come here and take care of this kid!"
Well, he took to drinking heavy and staying out for days
And when I'd ask he'd say "I just need time to settle into ways."
One year passed, we sold the trailer, 'cause no job my Tom could find
We just roamed from town to town in search of work of any kind
I took a part-time job at waitressing and found some homes to clean
Though I had no skills, I paid the bills, but Tom was getting mean
For the nightmares grew more frequent and the sober times were few
And it's when he took to hitting me, I didn't know what to do
I was living with some stranger, an angry broken man
It seemed the gentle boy I'd known and lover had died in Vietnam
And it's two more years he searched in vain for work at any pay
And I never will forget the look he gave me on that day
"This is all your fault!" he screamed and then he lashed out one more time
But it's when he struck the baby, that's when I drew the line
Oh, how he beat upon the bedroom door that I had locked so tight
Little Tommy in the corner was trembling in fright
For though he'd grown up with my beatings, a house in a state of war
Neither one of us had every seen our Tom this way before
The door it splintered open and he started in on me
First he struck me and the blood it filled my eyes, I could not see
He threw me back upon the pillows and my hand fell on his gun
I fired out into my darkness and the awful deed was done
Oh, they took my baby from me and they took me to the jail
There the word I heard was murder, and no one to go my bail
Till some women came to see me, they told me I was not alone
They warned me that the court's abuse would match what I had known back home
Sometimes at night I dream of loving with my young and gentle Tom
Long before he brought the war back home with him from Vietnam
And the hard luck and the liquor cut our young lives to the bone
And we knew that something bigger than ourselves brought down our home
I guess some things are best forgotten, but I never can forget
JRO
And some things best left unspoken, but I ain't done talking yet
For, unless you open up your eyes, your arms, your hearts, your ears
I guarantee that you'll be hearing more sad tales like mine for years