The economy is so bad...
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
I bought a toaster oven and my free gift was a bank.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They are going to rename Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street."
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
There are members of the GOP thinking legalizing pot might help the economy.
I got so depressed last night thinking about politics, the economy, wars, my job, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc. that I called the Suicide Hot-line. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I felt suicidal they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...