For Gordon Waltham: (How could I resist anyone who's trying to learn the ukulele?) These lyrics were copied from here (and there are lots more George Formby lyrics at that web site). I can't supply chords; maybe someone else can.


OH DEAR MOTHER

I called round last night, my best girl to see,
Felt in such a plight when she sat on my knee.

Oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, we shared the same chair too.
She clung to me both hard and fast,
And thought her chance had come at last,
But oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.

Oh dear mother, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, a wasp down her neck flew.
It settled somewhere, I could tell.
She told me where it was as well,
But oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.

At a christening once I felt far from bold
When they gave to me the baby boy to hold.

Oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, I wore my best suit too
They sprinkled water on his hair.
There was water, water everywhere.
But oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.

Oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, an old woman who lived in a shoe:
I called to see her kids galore.
She said she'd room for a couple more,
But oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.

Oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, when in the bed with flu,
A young girl felt my pulse, but Lor'!
My temperature rose more and more,
And oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.

Oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, while bathing in the blue,
Some girls when I came out undressed,
Took snapshots of my family crest,
And oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.