call them from your mobile phone and ask if you left your phone at their house..

call all your children "Fred" Hallo Fred, have you heard from your Aunt Fred... she is so excited that Fred got the lead in school play... she is going to be Cinderella.. ramble on

Call and say you baked a cake and the recipe said use only the whites...Tell them how difficult it was to extract the white squiggly bit from the rest of the egg and that you had to call a plumber to get the tweezers out of the kitchen sink drain, AGAIN.. Then complain about how dry the cake was. ramble on

next time they visit or you visit them, put your glasses up on your foehead, and start looking around the house, in drawers and cupboards, the fridge, under the toilet seat, soaf cushions, muttering... where did I put em... I had em just a moment ago... when they ask "put what"... "what are you looking for"... wander off with determined air that you have remembered... come back... scratch your head, knocking off the glasses... pick them up absent mindedly... clean them... put them on proper and say... can't find my glasses.

get a flat pebble, paint the name Fred on it and keep it in your pocket... when in discussion with one of your kids or grands and you want to say their name, pull out the pebble and look at... then say "Fred."

keep a bouquet of silk flowers in the fridge... If anyone asks... answer with "Just in case." If they press... regale them with the egg white, tweezer, plumber story.

call you kids and ask what gets blood out of carpet... lots of blood... really lots and lots of blood.

Tell your kids that you think you left some of your shopping at their house... "can't remember what else is missing from my bag, but the chicken breasts are not here." Do this in hot hot weather.

Pretend you visited friends at old folks home and make up a story about speed dating activity and that you think you found your perfect mate. Her name is...... take out pebble, look at it ... "Fred"