I was on the train at Chernigov,
When all my money fell.
It fell into the toilet where,
I'd already made 'a smell'.
It was as I pulled my trousers up,
My money fell in the loo.
And I stood for just a second or so,
Not knowing what to do.

I reached into the lavatory pan,
My money to retrieve.
In order not to soak my shirt,
I rolled up my right sleeve.
I reached down bravely in the pan,
But such was my bad luck.
I set off the mechanism and
The flush began to suck.

I was stuck down to my elbow now,
And suffering lots of pain.
So as it was an emergency,
I pulled hard on the chain.
The rescuers took off tiles,
Took the toilet from its sill,
And when they severed the outlet pipe,
My arm was stuck there still.

Someone arrived with a plumbers torch,
Another hydraulic shears.
By this time I was thinking I,
Might be stuck there for years.
But soon the cut and bent the pipe,
And it was plain to see.
I'd lost my £24 but
At least now I was free.