The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise
for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I
have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle
wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the
doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp
from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have
experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and
every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a
delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the
crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in
place." Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed
uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she
announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the
doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the
men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone
else had something to say.


A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just
want to tell my wife the word is sternum

RtS
PS It reminds me of thetime my dear old mum, preparing for a dinner-dance told us she had bought a "nice gold durex* blouse". Dad & I cracked up & I got my ears boxed.
*US equivalent would be "trojan" but it doesn't work with "lurex".