Stuck in Ukrainian Loo
(with apologies to Gerry Rafferty)

Well I know just why I came here tonight
We were drinking and I got pretty tight
Then I had to see a man 'bout a horse
And my cash fell in the toilet, of course
Cash in the lavat'ry, got to get it out
Here I am, stuck in Ukrainian loo

Yes I'm stuck in Ukrainian loo
And I'm wondering what it is I should do
Can I use my phone with only one hand?
Will my buds ask why I'm still in the can?
Cash in the lavat'ry, got to get it out
Here I am, stuck in Ukrainian loo

bridge
Well we went out to go drinking
And I found I had to take a piss
Now security is coming, slap me on the back
and say "How the hell'd you do this?
How the hell'd you do this?"

Well they're trying to make some sense of it all
But they can see it makes no sense at all
Just 200 hryvnias, I must have been mad
And they're wond'rin', "How much beer have you had?"
Cash in the lavat'ry, got to get it out
Here I am, stuck in Ukrainian loo

(repeat bridge)

(repeat first verse)