Somebody play some harp glissandos and sprinkle some glitter as the Fairy Godmother appears. She opens the baby's mouth and comments that its gums, normally pink, are white with pressure. It's teething!

What happens with teething? The teeth are literally cutting their way through the tissue. It hurts, and the baby cries and can't sleep.

I'm not up to speed on the latest method for dealing with teething, but announcing that the kid isn't yours is not one of them.