Deer Rapparee:

At Deer Camp, do you learn to be a Better Deer? Do you do workshops in graceful shedding, how to wear velvet, and self-esteem for low-point bucks? Do you learn woodcraft? Avoiding tree stands, how to look like a bush, recognizing the difference between biped birdwatchers and hunters? Do you watch Bambi re-runs? Do you have athletic contests in sapling-dodging, trunk-leaping, and broken-field running? Do you dream of being faster than a speeding bullet?

Anyway, I am sorry your parents couldn't keep you home where you can use all your video toys. But I hope you make many new friends among the deer you will meet there and come back a wiser, better deer.

A