Thanks for the reply. I'm glad you say most rather than all. There is a local church near me that is lovely for example. I'll join it one day. Margaret who keeps it going (it's actually COE but would have been shut down by the authorities had she and others not helped with funding) is a bend over backwards to help anyone type and it is communal in a nice way.

I think in more "official places" one can as well as the genuine run into very judgemental holier than thou s and while the latter can be a tempting route, these days, I think it is as mistaken as you can get...