The indoor water closet is a child of decadence. Hemorrhoids were virtually unknown until their advent, now some (ok, mine) resemble a suburban library. In fact I once had acquaintance with a girl whose father was a classics teacher who quite literally installed shelving in the bog to support his books.

A swift, Pliny-free visit into the psychogeographic realm of the back yard is sufficient for all but the most stubborn movement.