Jon, I have to say that I don't have an answer for that. Especially in the case expected to be born deformed or diseased, I would think that the decision of the mother is sacred and unquestionable; and I would offer her no advice - only listening and compassion and respect. I think that listening and compassion and respect are far more important than taking the moral high ground.

Two women I know and love very much have had abortions. I think I'm glad I didn't know them at the time they had to make that decision. It wasn't a decision they made lightly - they were in very difficult relationships with the men who fathered the children, and didn't feel it was safe to bear the children. I grieve the loss of the children, but I have to respect the decision made by these women I love.
You know, I think that's all I can and should do - grieve the loss, grieve the sorrow the women have to endure in making such a decision, and listen and offer compassion. Somehow, I think my grief and compassion will do more to reduce the number of abortions, than any amount of condemnation. That's not what's considered to be the "party line" for Catholics, but I know a lot of priests who would respond the same way. They can't bring themselves to condemn people for anything done through an honest decision.

-Joe-