Look, gays, lesbians, bi, and transgender folks are all around you. They are in the armed forces in the trenches with you, and higher up in rank with stars, bars, eagles, and lavish parties. (Oooo, I'd LOVE to be at some of those parties!) They serve you coffee at the coffee bar, they care for your children at the daycare, they teach them in schools, they comfort you in your time of need (in various capacities), they make public policy as elected officials, they make music for your entertainment, they dance for your entertainment, they attend to your needs in hospital wards, and they do open-heart surgery on you. The only difference between the way things are now and the way things would be if they were "out" is that they would not have to cower in fear of being beaten up, shunned, or held up for blackmail.
The people who oppose "outness" are homophobes, nothing more and nothing less. "Homophobe" is a factual term. It is not a casually tossed about slur, like calling everyone you don't agree with a "nazi." It is not "insane." It is factual. Anyone who is threatened by someone loving someone else in a homosexual way is, on some level afraid of their own sexuality, and whether they might themselves be leaning that way. Furthermore, homophobia, unlike homosexuality, is a disease that can be cured.
One of the very saddest but ultimately happy people I have ever known was a man who was chronically physically ill, depressed, and suicidal. When he finally came out, all of that vanished, and he is now so happy and joyous that it makes ME sick, as someone with more generalized depression. But I celebrate for him every time I hear a discussion about homosexuality.
OTOH, on of the very angriest men I have ever known was someone who everyone around him KNEW that he was closeted and too terrified to come out even to himself because he was such a rabid homophobe, justifying it with cherry-picked "evidence" from religious books of his CHOOSING. I cry inside for him every time I hear a discussion about homosexuality. To wit, notice the number of former virulent homophobes in the Republican party who have endorsed their party's position (position!) on gays in society who have finally come out, and then dropped from sight, curiously enough.
I don't know exactly what McCain's problem is. But it is a problem. That old, straight ahead "maverick" is long dead. And the "new McCain" is sad to watch as he writhes with all his self-contradictions.