She is getting all of the lessons -- cello, harmonica, ukulele, bagpipes, smallpipes, sitar, krumhorn, forminx, alpenhorn, bowed psalter, nose flute, piccolo, bouzuki, cymbals, hammered dulcimer, bodhran, carnyx, and of course, glass harmonica -- gratis, free for nothing.

What sort of cad do you think I am, sir, that I would charge Mom?