Very funny entries so far!

I'm toying with a couple ideas but will have to ponder the details of this bird-brained story a bit later,

Neil, what is the tune for your lyrics? Most of the verses seem to fit "Humoresque" - at least the "Passengers will please refrain" portions of that piece - but some don't, so I'm wondering if it's based on a particular melody.   It's pretty funny even without knowing the tune, though.