A great lady was interviewing two friends who were applicants for the posts of footmen in her great house.

"Your experience sounds quite appropriate," she said. "But of course appearance is most important for above-stairs servants. You would be required to wear livery, such as knee-breeches and silk stockings; so please roll up your trousers so that I can inspect the calves of your legs. Ah, yes, that is quite satisfactory in both your cases. And now finally, please, show me your testimonials."

Said one sadly to the other as they walked slowly away down the long drive: "If you weren't been so pig-ignorant, we'd have got that job."