You did an excellent job of catching the words, with a few minor glitches, so here's my lyric sheet.

I've been doing the song since the 70's and get many requests for it, but I've never actually released it. Some people say it's their favorite song.


TATTOOED LADY
(Words & Music by Smokey Miles)

I met a girl in New Orleans. She was waiting on tables there.
I told her that I loved her smile and her pretty head of hair.
She invited me back to her place and who could ask for more?
She said, "You're gonna see something, friend, you ain't never seen before!"
We went up to her apartment. She kicked off her platform shoes
Said, "Come on, honey. Sit by my side and I'll show you my tattoos!"

She had battleships upon her hips, anchors on her thighs.
The Seventh Fleet was on her feet wearing red bowties.
She had tattooed eggs upon her legs, trees upon her knees,
Colored lakes and rattlesnakes and even bumblebees.
She had the merchant marine on the site of her spleen, Mom and Dad on her right arm.
And on her chest right above her breast was a picture of the family farm.

CHORUS: Tattooed lady, she's so fine.
Tattooed lady, gonna make her mine.
Tattooed lady, she's a real museum.
Invites up all the boys just to see 'em.

I told her I liked what I saw. I mean, I really dig the view.
You know she bowed and she said out loud, "I'm the Queen of the Rose Tattoo!"
She grabbed a needle and a bottle of ink and gave me a little smile.
I jumped up apprehensively. I said, "Honey, that ain't my style."
She laughed and grinned, "This ain't for you. I don't have that in mind
But how'd you like to make a motor bike on the bottom of my behind?"

There was a strange insect just below her neck, four crabs on her calves,
Two chandeliers behind her ears, and a light bulb just for laughs.
She had the moon and the sun just for fun under each of her armpits,
And the Dodgers scores from '94 in errors, runs, and hits.
There was a dog and a cat in the small of her back with a jumbo jet airplane,
And to remind her was her favorite diner and an old-time railroad train.

CHORUS

She joined the Navy when she was a girl. She had a very interesting life.
She's been around the world forty times or more. She never made no man a wife.
She don't go to movies or wear fancy clothes. She ain't concerned about her health.
All she wants to do is show her tattoos and paint pictures on herself.

She had the sign of the cross and a pinto horse 'tween her first and second rib,
A clenched fist on her left wrist; on the right was a Star of David.
She had a cowboy hat and a Siamese cat in the crook of each of her knees.
On one elbow was a garden hoe and on the other was a set of keys.
She had country singers on each of her fingers, billiard balls on her knuckles,
An eel and a seal on the back of her heel and on her waist was a tattooed buckle.

INSTRUMENTAL.

There was a map of the world on the rump of that girl made by an expert painter,
And through the night from this dazzling sight, my vision was growing fainter.
She pointed to her face, the last virgin place, said, "It's time to begin!"
Scratched a lobster on her jaw, said, "There should be more!" put a red rose on her chin.

She had a fleur-de-lis on her right knee, little daisies 'tween her toes,
A county jail and a watering pail to make sure that her garden grows.
She had some tuna fish next to her pubis, twin angels on her soles.
In one ear was a bottle of beer and in the other was a Tootsie-Roll.
She had Gregory Peck on the back of her neck, Marlon Brando above her heart,
James Dean, Steve McQueen*, and Mister Clean and a naked cupid with a bow and a dart.

CHORUS: Tattooed lady, she's so fine.
Tattooed lady, gonna make her mine.
Tattooed lady, she's a real museum,
Invites up all the boys just to see 'em.
Invites up all the boys just to see 'em.
Invites up all the boys just to see her amazing—
From her head down to the bottom of her toes—
Tattoos!


* or Martin Sheen or Charlie Sheen can be substituted depends on the audience and my mood!

© 1974 Meson Music BMI smokula@yahoo.com

I've got an album out "Waiting for the Hurricane". It doesn't have "Tattooed Lady" on it, but could clear up confusion on who I am.

http://www.amazon.com/Waiting-For-The-Hurricane/dp/B003NMI2G6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1292351549&sr=8-2-catcorr

Sometimes I'm also known as Count Smokula.

Smokey Miles