Generally, the way people do things around here, it is only necessary to post an appology to the thread where you caused the problem--even still, it is not necessary to appologize for an honest opinion, honestly stated, unless it has been misunderstood, and there have been hurt feelings.

Sounds like you need something more here--if I may be so bold, I am guessing that you really want to be a travel and perform music, rather than "preach", and you feel terriblly torn--

Let me help you out--God didn't and doesn't make life choices for us. We make choices for ourselves, and we make decisions for ourselves. That is the way it works--if we were always sure about what God wants, it would be impossible for us make choices--

There is a saying, "Many are called, but few are chosen" and it has always seemed to me that it means that there is a great difference between wanting to do something, and being able to do it, and being successful at it.

If you are seriously torn about whether you should preach--then you probably should not preach, even if you "can" do it. The demands of that life are so intense that a person who is not totally confident about their commitment will not be able to withstand the strain for very long without cracking. the worst part is that the people who have trusted and depended on this person are hurt,

If you don't believe me, ask others in your faith--I can assure you, you will hear a lot of unpleasant stories--and sympathies don't tend to lean toward the faltering minister, either.

I can appreciate your pain--many people regard a ministry as the highest calling of all, and to feel yourself pulled away from it must be very difficult. However, don't continue if your heart is not in it, because you will only end up hurting yourself, and others.