It's near impossible to write anything in the Maine vernacular but I'll try.

Potato farming is a back breaking stoop labor hell.
Many years ago an Aroostook farmer was on the coast looking for victims (laborers) to hoe potatoes.(Is Dan Quayle on here?)
He went into the employment office in a small Maine town, walked up to the woman behind the counter and said "I wanna hire some hoers."
When she got her breath back she said "You want to hire prostitutes?" Farmer says, "I don't care about their religion long as they can hoe potatoes."