It never fails to amaze me why people guilty of crimes (minor to this) blame drugs, alcohol, a mother who kept introducing "uncles" to them or a father who pissed over their cat. In my day it was called rotten badness and you lost your liberty as punishment.

A lot of crimes are still rotten badness, only these days you get to feed goats in a community fun park as punishment.

If you ever find yourself in trouble, don't call a solicitor, call for a social worker and tell them about your granny.