Bird's Custard is available in Canada. Properly speaking, it is not custard at all; it is a mixture of cornstarch, colouring and vanilla extract that one combines with sugar and scalded milk to make a simulacrum of custard that will do in a pinch. The firmer, pudding variant of Bird's is, technically, a blancmange.

Now, custard, qua custard, is quite a different thing altogether. It requires real skill on the part of the cook, which is why the Bird's article is so popular.

To make real custard of the runny or sauce type:

Beat up eggs, whole milk and sugar, the ratio to be one egg and one to two tablespoons of sugar per 8 fluid ounces of milk. For a richer sauce, use half and half instead of milk, and add two or three egg yolks. Put the mixture into a double boiler (an increasingly rare item; perhaps your mum or your granny has one), and cook it, stirring all the time, until the mixture will coat a steel or silver spoon. This is a fleeting moment; watch as the mixture thickens and be sure to get it off the heat -- lift the top section of the double boiler -- before the a crust forms at the edge and you see the mixture begin to curdle. Add a teaspoon of vanilla extract.

If the custard curdles, it can be rescued by beating hard with an electric mixer.

Baked custard (also known as creme caramel or flan) is a different creature again. Use a richer mixture than for sauce, and pour it into individual ramekins -- butter them first, and put some brown sugar in the bottom. Set the ramekins in a pan of water and bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit until it solidifies -- about half an hour.