The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #25650   Message #306627
Posted By: NightWing
27-Sep-00 - 12:58 PM
Thread Name: Anyone here had to recite?
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite?
*LOL* (Bawdy story warning)

A funny story about recitation: I've memorized numerous bits and pieces here and there. (This member of the Borogoves is resting under the Tum-Tum Tree in uffish thought. *G*) About a year ago I wanted to put together a performance piece for an oddball sort of club I belong to.

And I memorized "Eskimo Nell".

When a man grows old and his balls grow cold
And the tip of his tool turns blue
And it bends in the middle like a one-stringed fiddle,
He can tell you a tale or two.

So pull up a chair and stand me a drink
And a tale to you I'll tell ...
Of Mexican Pete and Dead-Eye Dick
And a harlot called Eskimo Nell.

[100 verses or so later]
When a man grows old and his balls grow cold
And the tip of his tool turns blue
And the hole in the middle refuses to piddle,
Well, I'd say he was f***ed, wouldn't you?

If anyone doesn't know it, "Eskimo Nell" is a LOOOOONG poem (rather Service-esque, but I don't know who wrote it) about a sexual contest between Dead-eye Dick and Eskimo Nell. (Nell wins.)

Thing of it is, this oddball sort of club is the Hash House Harriers. We call ourselves "the drinking club with a running problem." If you've never heard of it, think of a rugby club for runners.

Memorizing a poem this long well enough that you can do it drunk takes some SERIOUS memorization, and I worked at it for nearly six months before I had the nerve to try it. I got it off okay, though.

About two months AFTER my first try with it, I had surgery on my foot. It was out-patient surgery, so I didn't see the doctor or his staff for several days after they cut on me. When I went back into the doctor's office for my first checkup after, the nurses were sort of chuckling at me. I asked why and one of them explained that under the sedative I had recited poetry. I asked what and she blushed. So I guessed what it must have been and started in on "Eskimo Nell"; she blushed scarlet and practically ran out of the room giggling.

So I figure that's what it probably was. But I still wonder: I got it right when I was dead drunk. Did I get it right even under sedation?