My dad's version:

Twas Christmas Day in the workhouse
And behind those grim grey walls
The warder was taking the roll call
When somebody shouted out "Balls!"
"I'll give you balls, you bugger,
You mean ungrateful sod
You'll get no Christmas pudding
And you'll spend the day in quad!"
Up spoke the brave old pauper
His voice as bold as brass -
"Don't want no christmas pudding
You can shove it up your arse!"