Mr. Feldman, the bun-squeezing man
(to the tune of "Titanic" -- at least the one I first learned!)

Mrs. Feldman dressed her husband
And took him to the store
And they wandered down
The fresh-bread aisle once more

But when her back was turned
Wringing bread is what he yearned
It was sad when he squeezed the loaves and buns

Oh it was sad!
Oh it was sad!
It was sad when he squeezed the loaves and buns
(Man he crushed them good!)
The cookies and rolls,
Felt his viselike hammerhold
It was sad when he squeezed the loaves and buns

So they put a camera out
In the Giant grocery store
And they said "we'll catch
Him squeezing bread once more"

And they dusted all the crumbs
On the cookies he would thumb
It was sad when he squeezed the loaves and buns

(repeat chorus)

Now they've caught poor Mr. Feldman
And threw him in the can
And they sent out for
A good head-shrinker man

His defense team says he's cracked
The bakers just want their money back
It was sad when he squeezed the loaves and buns

(repeat chorus)

(C) 2000 Alex E. Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

AINE -- don't even ask! Of course you may put this in your vaunted vaults!

Man, I love this place.

Alex
O..O
=o=