How about this one from Jake ThakerayI love a good bum on a woman it makes my day, To me it is palpable proof of God's existence a- Posteriori also I love breasts and arms and ankles elbows knees, It's the tongue the tongue the tongue on a woman that spoils the job for me.
Please understand I respect and admire the frailer sex. And I honour them every bit as much as the next Misogynist but give some women the ghost of a chance to talk and whereupon, They go on again on again on again on again on again on again on.
I fell in love with a woman with wonderful thighs and hips, And a sensational belly, I just never noticed her lips were always moving, only when we got to the altar and she had to say "I do", And she folded her arms, gathered herself, took in a breath and I knew She could have gone on again on again on again till the entire Congregation passed out and the vicar passed on and the choir boys Passed through puberty, at the reception I gloomily noticed her family's jubilant mood, There maniacal laughter and their ghastly gratitude.
She talks to me when I go for shave or a sleep or a swim, She talks to me on a Sunday when I go singing hymns, or drinking heavily, When I go mending chimney pots she's down there on the street, And at 95 on my motorbike she's on the pillion seat
Whittering on again on again on and again and again, When I'm eating or drinking or reading or thinking or when I'm saying my rosary she will never stop talking she is one of those women who will never use 3 or 4 words when a couple of thousand will easily do.
She also talks without stopping to me in our bed of a night, Throughout the sweetest of our intimate delights, she never gives over, not even stopping when we go hammer and tongs towards the peak, Except perhaps for a sigh, and a groan, and one perfunctory shriek.
Then she goes on again on again on again and I must Assume that she has never noticed that she's just been interrupted totally unruffled is she and as far as I can see I might just as well have been posting a letter or stirring up the tea.
She will not take a hint, not once she's made a start, I can yawn, or belch, or bleed, or faint, or fart, She won't drop a syllable, I can stand in front of her grimly sharpening up an axe, I can sprinkle her with paraffin and ask her for a match.
She'd just go on again on again on again even more, The hind legs of a donkey are peanuts to her she can bore The balls off a buffalo, "Mother of God" I cried one day "oh let your kingdom come "But in the meantime Mother won't you strike this bugger dumb?"
Well believe it or not she appeared to me then and there, The Blessed Virgin herself in answer to my prayer Despite the vulgarity, shimmering softly dressed in blue and holding up a hand, I cocked a pious ear as the Mother of God began.
She went on again on again on again on and I Will have to state how very much I sympathise with the rest of the family Give some women the ghost of a chance to talk and whereupon They go on again on again on again on again on again on again on.
You need to hear it sung to get the full affect, the pauses at the end and in the middle of lines make it funnier than it reads