Just what I've always wanted....
Gnarly and bent and deaf as a post,
Poor ol' Hezekiah Purvis
Goeth slowly up the hill,
And to the communion service.
Then tippy tappy up the isle,
With knobby stick and brassy furile,
And Pa'son has to croopy down,
An' holler in his yer'ole.
No idea who wrote it, had to learn it for school, got a gold star and a funny look - everyone else did something about daffodils.