Sharp collected the first verse of Gossip Joe from Thomas Blunt of Blagdon on 29/4/1905. The other verses here have been supplied from other versions.

With two or more singers who don't mind hamming it up it works well as a comic conversation.

1   Good morning Gossip Joe, where have you been a-walking?
       Good morning Gossip Joe, what have you been a-talking?
    For I have got for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you,
       I've a budget full of talking, oh Gossip Joe.

2   Our dog's gone to the copse and I can't tell where to find him - [ x2 ]
       Leave him alaone, he'll soon come home, he'll soon come home, he'll soon come home
    and bring his tail behind him, oh Gossip Joe.

3   Our pig he is not well - Pray tell me what's the matter? [ x2 ]
       Oh it was but the other day, the other day, the other day
    he ate the wooden platter, oh Gossip Joe.

4   Our duck she swallowed a snail (quack quack), now isn't that a wonder [ x2 ]
       for the horns grew out of her tail, her tail, her tail, her tail, her tail, her tail
    and split her rump asunder, oh Gossip Joe.

5   Our cow she had a calf beneath the parlour window. [ x2 ]
       If it hadn't been for the bull's hulloa, the bull's hulloa, the bull's hulloa
    she wouldn't have had her labour, oh Gossip Joe.

6   Let's to the alehouse go and wash down all our sorrows. [ x2 ]
       I'll tell you all my trouble and grief, my trouble and grief, my trouble and grief,
    and we'll meet again tomorrow, of Gossip Joe.