" Fact is, even a small dog can weigh a ton eventually.

ummmm... right...and you can help me decide at what weight it officially changes from 'big' to 'small'?

(There was a guy who announced to his friends, "I'm gonna join the circus as a midget." They said, "But...you are 6'3"!"..."Yeah", he said, "I'm gonna be the worlds tallest midget!")