My brother sent me this. I thought some people hear might enjoy it.

40 THINGS YOU JUST WON'T HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

40) Oh, I just couldn't. She's only 16.
39) I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex.
38) Duct tape won't fix that.
37) Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
36) Come to think of it, I'll have a martini.
35) We don't keep firearms in this house.
34) Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33) You can't feed that to the dog.
32) I thought Graceland was tacky.
31) No kids in the back of the pickup. It's just not safe.
30) Wrestling's fake.
29) Honey, did we mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28) We're vegetarians.
27) Do you think my gut is too big?
26) I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25) Honey, we don't need another dog.
24) Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
23) Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22) Too many deer heads detracts from the decor.
21) Spitting is such a nasty habit.
20) I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
19) Trim the fat off that steak.
18) Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17) The tires on that truck are too big.
16) I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15) I've got it all on the C: drive.
14) Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13) Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
12) My fiancée, Bobbi Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11) I've got 2 cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10) Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
9) Checkmate.
8) She's too young to wear a bikini.
7) Does the salad bar here have bean sprouts?
6) Hey, here's an episode of Hee-Haw we haven't seen!
5) I don't have a favorite college team.
4) Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3) You all.
2) Those shorts oughta be a little longer, Darla.
1) Nope, no more for me. I'm driving tonight.