This fellow really loved opera. He was especially fond of a particular soprano, whose voice he considered especially gorgeous.

As fate would have it, they met, fell in love, and got married.

His primary interest in her was the beauty of her voice. He had to overlook the fact that she had a body like a sack full of pumpkins and a face like an English bulldog.

The wedding night went well, but when he woke up in the morning, he took one look at his bride and thought, "Oh, gawd, she's an ugly woman! What in hell have I done?" He broke into a cold sweat.

Finally, in a fit of panic, he shook her by the shoulder until she woke up. Then he pleaded, "For God's sake, sing something!!"

Don Firth