Well, having lived in the South for 12 of my 21 years, I can come up with these TRUTHFUL ones:

12.) It's just one bumper sticker too many!
11.) I think the whip antennas on my pickup are longer than they need to be.
10.) Wo cares about the local 3rd grade football standings?
9.) I think I'll take a shower before I go to Lowe's.
8.) I'm tired of eating B's Barbeque everyday for lunch.
7.) I don't think it's safe for Dawg to be in the pickup bed. He might get hurt.
6.) I'm gonna go buy a leash for the dog.
5.) I think I'll stay home and paint the house instead of going to the Mud Bog race today.
4.) Sure I take a break from the NASCAR on TV and go get some milk. It doesn't matter if I miss a couple laps.
3.) We can't have a yardsale here, honey! It's private property!
2.) I'm going to go get a haircut.
1.) I'm gonna have to miss the ECU Pirates game today.