At the opening of the funeral service, a friend of mine's coffin was carried down the aisle to the strains of the intermezzo from Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet - the effect was truly pythonesque. She left the church to Mendelssohn's Wedding March having endured "Come Back to Sorrento" and Joplin's "The Entertainer Rag" along the way.

She was 17 years old. The point was, that she was a dancer and these were all pieces to which she had danced professionally in her final year of life.

As for my own funeral - it is already down in writing that I should be carried out to "Nellie the Elephant" and my closest friends all have copies of the music.

All the best,

Weasel.