Here's another of my half-baked attempts to transcribe an old recording of a music-hall song. You can hear it at The Internet Archive. It is song #4 of 10 on that page.

Some of these lines make no sense at all. I hope someone can help me make sense of them.


HAVE A DROP OF GIN, JOE
Words and music by Joseph Tabrar and Chas. Collins, 1912.
As sung by Harry Champion

1. Have you ever had a picture painted on your mind?
Here's a little picture frame, the best you'd ever find:
Happy little family, everybody glad,
Nearly ev'ry evening Mother says to Dad:

"Have a drop of gin, Joe, gin, Joe, gin, Joe.
Have a drop of gin, Joe, do.
A little drop of gin, Joey, never hurts me,
And I'm sure a drop of gin, Joe, can't hurt you.
Have a drop of old gin, old gin, old gin.
People say it's better than the new.
So give your mind a gin, Joe, gin Joe, gin, Joe.
Have a drop of gin, Joe, do.

2. Have you ever seen a parlour very nearly bare?
Just to … over there,
Mangle in the corner, baby with a toy,
Little girl goes up and whispers to the boy:

Have a bit of jam, Jim, jam, Jim, jam, Jim.
Have a bit of jam, Jim, do.
A little bit of jam, Jimmy, never hurt me,
And I'm sure a bit of jam, Jim, can't hurt you.
And remember Jim-jam, Jim-jam, Jim-jam.
Makes you wish for more, it's true.
So have a bit of jam, Jim, jam, Jim, jam, Jim.
Have a bit of jam, Jim, do.

3. Have you ever seen a picture in the dead of night?
P'liceman on the left side, burglar on the right,
P'liceman said to burglar, "Hope you've had a hop."
Holding up his jimmy then the burglar said to flop.

Have a little sleep-flop, sleep-flop, sleep-flop.
Have a little sleep-flop, do.
A tiny little sleep-flop never hurt me,
And I'm sure a little sleep-flop can't hurt you.
Round the corner sleep-flop, sleep-flop, sleep-flop.
Wonderful the old job through.
Have a little sleep-flop, sleep-flop, sleep-flop.
Have a little sleep-flop, do.

4. Simple Eddie Peter bought an aeroplane.
Flying around the … he must have been insane.
Called upon his sweetheart, dragged her out of bed,
Oops his little answer in a bustle and he said:

Have a little fly, Flo, fly, Flo, fly, Flo,
Have a little fly, Flo, do.
A tiny little fly, Flo, never hurt me,
And I'm sure a little fly, Flo, can't hurt you.
If you've never do so, do so,
When it's been a luck so, do.
Have a little fly, Flo, fly, Flo, fly, Flo.
Have a little fly, Flo, do, do, do—

REPEAT LAST CHORUS.