More Oz sayings:

As useless as a pocket in a pair of underpants. (Guess what I saw advertised on tv a couple of nights ago...why, I don't know. Marketing people snorting too much coke perhaps and taking these curious expressions from the imaginary into the real?)

He/she couldn't organise a piss-up (party with lots of alcohol) in a brewery.

He/she couldn't fight his/her way out of a wet paper bag.

He/she wouldn't know a tram was up him/her until the bell rang and the people started getting out.

He/she wouldn't know the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground) was up him/her until the crowd roared.

Regarding brass monkeys: I thought the explanation was that in freezing temperatures the cannon balls would fall off the pyramid-shaped stack, known as a brass monkey for some reason.

Also, I got into trouble from my Dad once for saying someone had "come a cropper". Don't really know what it means but I think it relates to falling "arse over 'ead".

Helen