You can hear this song at YouTube. It is the second of two songs in that "video."


HAVE YOU PAID THE RENT?
Words by Herbert Rule & Fred Holt; music by L. Silberman.
As sung by Harry Champion, 1922.

1. Ev'rybody seems to be in trouble nowadays.
Trouble comes to all of us in many diff'rent ways.
Ev'rywhere you go,
You'll hear a tale of woe.
The butcher wants to meet you and the baker wants his dough.*
But there's one thing no one ever wants to pay.
That is why this is the latest saying of the day:

CHORUS: Have you paid the rent? Have you paid the rent?
Lordy, lordy, lordy, have you paid the rent?
Here's a wrinkle when the landlord is about:
Send the kiddies down to say that mother says she's out.
Have you paid the rent? Have you paid the rent?
Never, never, never lie.
If you haven't paid the rent,
One day you'll repent,
And you won't go to heaven when you die.

2. Charlie Brown was bathing in the sea and caught the cramp—
Silly thing to do because the water was so damp.
Charlie shouted, "Oh!"
Lobster caught his toe.
Charlie threw his arms up and he disappeared below.
Then the p'liceman came and, as he made a look,
Said to Charlie Brown as he pulled out his little book: CHORUS

3. Johnson's got a nice house with no knocker on the door.
Got no door to hang a blessed knocker on, and lor!
No more roof remains,
And though he still complains,
He has his dinner underneath the table when it rains.
And the neighbour's children make young Johnson swear,
Shouting through the keyhole of the door that isn't there: CHORUS


* A couple of bad puns are concealed in this line.