As I see it there are three possible types of marriage (maybe more?) - for whomsoever. Civil marriage is useful for those who want the the legal perks therein. It is available in some places and yet to come in others.

Spiritual marriage is open for all, in a church which is willing to offer their support of whichever type persons are choosing this type of marriage or in no church at all. A church is not a building; it is the community of people who choose to "worship" in a certain manner. A simple exchanging of vows in private or the presence of, a community of, friends seems perfectly reasonable to me and I know people who have done this. Spirituality is not confined to a church or a religion, it is a personal choice.

Then, of course, there is the option, where it is legal, of a combination of both. A religious ceremony which is also legal in the jurisdiction in which it takes place. The last wedding I attended was presided over by both a rabbi and a minister. It was legal, religious, spiritual and celebrated with Contra dancing.

In 1959, it was a hard choice for my Quaker Meeting in Pennsylvania to support my marriage to an African American. Today it would be no problem. Sigh! Even Quakers are not always as reasonable as I might hope.

A Quaker View of Sex, published at least 30 years ago, gave gay relationships the thumbs up. Many Quakers did not and do not agree. In Canada, however, there have been a number of gay marriages in Quaker Meetings. And some day, the rest of the world will catch up. When people learn to be tolerant of each other person and realize that we can celebrate our differences rather than fight them.