Well lets see Ralphie - you want to join the folk cosa nostra:-

1) You have to promise not try to make aliving out of writing songs and creating music about the the world you inhabit. The press gang or the 1st world war - that must be your metier.

2) A profession like a teacher, or a librarian or something similar is useful - you must actually despise anyone capable of doing work a day musician gigs - weddings, pubs, recording sessions for pop music or country music. the motto here is - I work to a professional standard but I am not willing to live the life of a professional musician.

3) Always refer to famous folksingers by their first name - Martin, Norma, Peggy, Ewan......even if you've only knocked their drink over, or stood on their foot - you are one of their intimates.

4) Unless a folksinger is related to one of the great folksinging families, they are pretty much bound to be crap - its alright to dis them. Actually complain if some dirtbag dj plays their song on a folk programme. There is a contract out on these peoples careers.

5) If you want to make your bones and be made man, or even a simple footsoldier in the folk mafia. You can usually ice most wiseguys thus:-

a) say of course its rubbish, its not folk in the 1954 definition

b) producing an enormous folder at a singaround, and singing completely expressionly a very long song. The motto here is -look the Copper family do it, alright....!

c) Say - I got this fiddle last week and already I can play a song.

d) I found this guitar in the attic. i haven't touched it for ten years, but I thought I'd like to come out and sing.

e) always remeber anyone showing signs of professionalism or competence is abit suspect. A good line her is, Yes i know you phoned up an hour in advance and sent a cd and we said you can hav a spot. But i can oly give you one song like everyone else including the 'care in the community' gang. I know you travelled a hundred and twenty miles. You must come back another time .

Do these all things and Mike Harding and Mick Peat will make you consigliere.