Hi from my days in the Irish Guards it went something like;

I love my mother in law
She' got an awful jaw
It's going day and night
and I can't do anything right

Put grease on all the chairs
put tacks on all the chairs
And if she does come back
I hope she breaks her neck

Took a trip to gay Paree,
Paid twenty francs to see
A French Striptease artiste
Take her clothes off piece by piece

And tatooed on her back
Was bloody big union jack
And up and down her spine
Were the Irish Guards in Line
And underneath her fanny
Was Al Jolson singing Mammy
How I love her how I love her
How I love my mother in law

Can't remember it all , but this is close.
Hope this helps