Hows about this for racism then?

If I were an Italian footballer, the last person in the stadium I would pick a fight with is Joe Jordan, on account of him being a drunken, hard as nails typical Scot.

I was at our London office the other day and in the canteen, I asked for a black coffee. The (white) lady behind the counter told me she was making a note of my name (ruddy name badges) and formally complaining I was being racist.

I could have done better I suppose. I could have made a comment that despite high unemployment, you still have problems employing people with a modicum of brain cells in London.

We await what happens now. As I am an advisor and not technically employed, I might just get my contract ended sooner than planned, but hopefully sense will prevail?

Errr... Not a bit of it. This is an arms length body into health and social care. Stuffed with Grolies, (Guardian readers of limited intelligence in ethnic skirts) and membership of LGT forums. In our case, being patronising to black and Asian colleagues during October. (I liked it when Lenny Henry pointed out that Black History month is October to commemorate the time of the first black family in Eastenders.)

I'm doomed........ Unless.. I can point out that these days, white middle aged males in the workplace are becoming an endangered species and in the interest of diversity, my disgusting term for a hot beverage is part of my culture that needs nurturing in case it dies out?

Thought not. Too busy apologising for being who and what I am. Ruddy Harriet Harperson and her legacy.