Bobz...I've put this on here before, but way back, so I'll put it on again, in the hope it may help a little.

When I lost the first of two little 'souls' it was devastating, not simply for the obvious reasons, but because it was linked to cancer as well. The worry and stress of 'Have I? Haven't I?' had to stay right on my shoulder for a year, as it took that length of time to see if the abnormal hormone situation, which had caused the problem in the first place, would go back down to normal or set in motion a cancer that would spread throughout my body.

Needless to say, I didn't know where to 'go' in my head....I was trying to cope with the loss of my baby, let alone anything else...

Enter the Good Guy, dressed in his white jacket...the Chief Radiologist, who held me in his arms as I sobbed it all out, then who dried my tears, held me firmly by the shoulders, looked me straight in the eyes and said:

"Right, you listen to me now. You *are* going to get through this! You now have to learn to take each day at a time, nothing more. You don't look back. You don't look forward. You simply get up, and you get through each day. Pretty soon you'll find yourself able to look back, and a short while later, you'll find yourself able to look forward.   It's so important that you do this."

Well, I did it, Bobz, not once, but twice, as the same approach had to be adopted when the second little soul didn't make it either, the same risk factors clicked in, months of waiting...even after my son (finally and joyfully) was born nearly 3 years later, there I was again, waiting, waiting, waiting, to see if all went back to normal.

I never forgot Dr. Dubbins words, nor his deep kindness, care and love that was shown towards me. It's bloody tough, but you soon learn to do it. You simply 'switch off' for a while, step off the Roundabout of Worry, Panic and What Ifs? Focus on the Day, on getting through it. Get your energy back, both of you, slow down as much as you can, breathe...breathe....and breathe again..

No more need for 'distractions'...just enjoy each day, go to bed knowing you've got through it, being proud of that. Soon you'll go to be looking forward to the future again, but for now, just close the Panic Shutters down......and relax...and if you have to move house in the middle of everything, just carry on getting through each day..tiring though it may be...just get through it, then....relax.

Much love to you both
Lizzie xx