It seems to me that people's focus has changed significantly since the resurgence of feminism around 1970.

Before that, I think the typical reaction to the words would be that the husband is an irascible old coot who just went a little too far -just far enough to make his temper amusing.   For people other than victims and social workers, the plot, set in a ballad fantasy world, wouldn't have had much to do with everyday life.

Otherwise, I don't think anybody would have been singing the song - maybe especially singers like Martin Carthy!

Perspectives have changed, however. The fact of domestic brutality is now a familiar concept. So the song suddenly seems more uncomfortably realistic to a lot more people. The husband isn't just an irascible, crazy old coot whose temper makes him amusing - he's a wife-beater, and audiences are now sensitive to the wife's plight in a way that they weren't forty-odd years ago.

Evidence that "the tradition" is essentially dead is that nobody seeme to have suggested just leaving out or changing the lines about kicking and beating. Isn't that all that's needed to fix the song up?

Finally, many Americans may not realize that "abuse" also means to speak against harshly and unjustly, curse out, etc.