This is more about the worst cup of "coffee" I managed to avoid.

Some years ago after a very, very long drive I arrived at the town in which I was to attend a special gathering of folkies at 11 the next morning. My hotel room had what I found out later were akin to blackout curtains. I had forgotten to request a wake-up call. This combination of items caused me to sleep until about 10:30. I quickly donned my clothes and raced down to the lobby to grab a cup of coffee to caffeinate myself enough to get through what was to be another very long day. You can only imagine my dismay to discover that the continental breakfast, and therefore the coffee, had been packed up at 10 that morning!

I mustered my strength and soldiered on to the event. After exchanging pleasantries with my host and attempting the same with the other guests, I found my lack of coffee was causing my other systems to begin to shut down. With an apologetic tone I asked my host if, perchance, he might have any coffee about the place. He answered:

"Yes, I believe so. My wife keeps some instant in one of the cabinets."

STRIKE ONE

"It is flavored - hazelnut, I think."

STRIKE TWO

"And it is decaf."

STRIKE THREE

I found some gracious way to decline the offer. I will be eternally grateful to one of the attendees who offered to take me to a Starbucks. I gladly accepted.