OK. Fess up, you've all written one.

Here's one of mine to start you all off.

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Phallic Finial

There's a fearsome phallic finial on the fencepost in our yard.
We bought it at Home Depot and it's plastic and it's hard.
It stands there like a soldier or a sentry on his guard.
That fearsome phallic finial in the yard.

I don't know why we bought it, it doesn't make much sense
you can see that it's symbolic, or you're really rather dense;
and it gives a whole new meaning to 'sitting on the fence!'
That fearsome phallic finial in the yard.

You may wonder what the neighbors think as they are passing by.
There's many a dear old lady gets twinkle in her eye,
and for sheer and utter envy it can make a grown man cry.
That fearsome phallic finial in the yard.

Every night the neighbors' cats upon their garden wall
insist on entertaining with a dreadful caterwaul
I think that they're complaining that they can't sit at all
on that fearsome phallic finial in the yard.

There's a fearsome phallic finial on the fencepost in our yard.
We bought it at Home Depot and it's plastic and it's hard.
It stands there like a soldier or a sentry on his guard.
That fearsome phallic finial in the yard.