alanabit is a bloody liar! One of his albums features the disgraceful, un-Christian ditty:
        
             Diedre (The Choirboys' Friend)

Some girls like their men mature – Diedre likes them young and pure
Never does her fair head rest upon an old man's hairy chest
As the priest intones the christening – Diedre is hardly listening
Congregation says, "Amen" as Diedre eyes up future tenors.
        All young choristers depend on Diedre – the choirboy's friend

Kneeling primly on the hassock, primly covered by her cassock
There's no hint in Diedre's bearing of the lingerie she's wearing
As the harmonies are soaring Diedre's thoughts turn to scoring
In her own peculiar fashion the first notes of Mathew's Passion
        All young choristers depend on Diedre the choirboy's friend

Sometimes she eyes a young curate whom she thinks might be up for it
But her greatest satisfaction's getting young men into action
When she hears the notes are dropping Diedre's heart begins galloping
And with care and dedication plans the lad's initiation
        All young choristers depend on Diedre – the choirboy's friend

For some lucky ones the act is performed after choir practice
First she leads them to the vestry to research (she says) ancestry
Down next to an ancient relic – looking somewhat less angelic
Like last week with young Tom Manning – introduced to family planning
        All young choristers depend on Diedre – the choirboy's friend

Diedre – Oh dear me!
Half a dozen local vicars know the colour of your knickers
And everybody snickers when they hear your name
Diedre – Oh dear me!
If I was thirty years younger – but I'm not...
Oh what a shame!

Many young chaps can bear witness to her stamina and fitness
Fellows whom she has accosted re-emerge looking exhausted
Vis a vis with young Phil Brunning – She forgave him his shortcoming
And her wait was not in vain – for like the Lord he rose again
        All young choristers depend on Diedre – the choirboy's friend

Now it's said her reputation has increased the congregation
And the social side is thriving - more young men just keep arriving
They suspect their transformation - then get Diedre's confirmation
More than anyone remembers - Diedre's pulled in new members
        All young choristers depend on Diedre the choirboy's friend.