The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #3115113
Posted By: GUEST,Albert Schweitzer
16-Mar-11 - 02:35 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
* Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
    * A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
    * Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
    * A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
    * Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
    * He used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
    * A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    * Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
    * Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
    * Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
    * Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
    * A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
    * A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
    * Without geometry, life is pointless.
    * When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
    * Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
    * A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
    * Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
    * When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
    * A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired..
    * What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)
    * A backwards poet writes inverse.
    * In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.
    * A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
    * If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed..
    * With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
    * Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you a flat minor.
    * When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
    * The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
    * A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
    * You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
    * He often broke into a song because he couldn't find the key.
    * Every calendar's days are numbered.
    * A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and it taint mine.
    * A boiled egg is hard to beat.
    * He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
    * The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
    * Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
    * Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine .
    * When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.