You can play or download this song at The Internet Archive. It's song #6 on that page. Here's my transcription. Note that there are a couple gaps or uncertain phrases. If you can correct them, please do.


ONE LITTLE HAIR ON HIS HEAD
Words and music by Harry Castling & Ernest John, 1932
As sung by Gracie Fields

Mister Potts had money, lots more than he should,
Ev'ry kind of luxury but hadn't any hair.
Did I say he'd no hair? Well, that's just where I'm wrong,
For he'd one right in the middle of his head, two inches long.

He treasured it; he watered it before he went to bed,
That one little hair on his head.
He smiled at it an' he talked to it. Such tender words he said
To the one little hair on his head!

He crinkled it; he sprinkled it with all the best perfume
Till nobody but Mister Potts would stay in the room.
He highed(?) it and he dyed it to a blond and then a red,
That one little hair on his head.

Hours before the mirror, day and night he'd stand,
Filled with admiration for the hair that beat the band.
"Signor Paderewski, though he's got a lot,
I wouldn't change this one," he said, "for all the hair he's got."

He signed to it; he prayed to it while sitting on the bed,
That one little hair on his head.
And swore he'd never leave it till the day that he was dead,
That one little hair on his head.

He bobbed it and massaged it, fixed it in a curler tight,
In case a burglar stole it in the dead of the night.
The ladies never kissed his lips; they always kissed instead
That one little hair on his head.

He shingled it; he fondled it when he jumped out of bed,
The one little hair on his head.
He brushed it till it shone just like a piece of silver thread,
The one little hair on his head.

Little flies in ... all around it used to play,
Just like village maidens round the maypole in May.
He left it to a museum when he died, I've heard it said,
That one little hair on his head.