You can play or download this song at The Internet Archive. It's song #4 on that page. Here's my transcription:


THE PHOTOGRAPH OF MOTHER'S WEDDING GROUP
Words by Tolchard Evans & Harry Tilsley; music by Robert Joseph Hargreaves & Stanley J Damerell.
As sung by Gracie Fields, 1933.

Now on me mother's weddin' day, of course I wasn't present,
But I've 'eard the way they carried out was daft.
Me aunt who thought she looked like Cleopatra only better,
Said, "The wedding group we must 'ave photographed."
Some people take it for a picture of the death of God
An' there a storm at sea, both natural mistakes.
It's 'angin' in our parlour just be'ind the parrot's cage,
An' you should 'ear the rude remarks that parrot makes!

On the photograph of mother's wedding group,
There must 'ave been a disappointed troop.
You can just see father's top 'at, an' that bit's come out a treat,
But both the best man an' the bride 'ave disappeared complete,
'Cause the rest is just a close-up of me Uncle Willie's feet
On the photograph of mother's wedding group.

A dog's got in the picture; some 'ave mixed it up with father,
But the one in the cleanest collar is the pup.
A friend said we should 'ang the picture upside down an' try it,
But we can't, not knowing which is right side up.
We 'ad it in a frame at first, but it looked so untidy,
We decided that we'd take it out again,
'Cause Aunt Maggie's in it, an' the poor old girl is so bow-legged
That 'er knees were stickin' right outside the crib.

Oh, the photograph of mother's wedding group—
It was 'andy once when I fell in the soup;
For a fire broke out as ready to jump in the bath I stood.
A fireman rushed me through the hall. 'E cried, "Delay's no good!"
I'd no time to grab a coat but I did all a woman could
With the photograph of mother's wedding group.

No matter where we've 'ung that photograph, it's been unlucky.
Something's nearly always 'appened, this or that.
Last week when it fell off the wall, I said, "That's somebody's death warnin',"
An' it was; it went an' fell right on the cat.
I tried to palm it off on other members of the fam'ly.
On 'is birthday, I sent it to me Uncle Jack.
I thought I'd done the trick, till I'd a letter from 'im sayin'
That 'is 'eart was weak an' so we'd take it back.

On the photograph of mother's wedding group
Is the straight-backed girl whom time 'as now made stooped.
Oft I gaze at it with tear-dimmed eyes as shadows come and go,
An' wonder in the silence of the firelight's amber glow.
Once I wondered where the flies all went in winter; now I know:
On the photograph of mother's wedding group.