Max, I love ya'. I know you want to kick me in the balls, but I still love ya'. So don't take it wrongly when I say............

BERT, OH BERT. Wherefore art thou Bert???

Bertie me laddie buck, I have gained newfound respect for you after tonight's show. I don't know what it is you do for Max, but whatthehellever it is, he needs it. The boy just ain't strung up right or something without you. Please don't miss another show. MaryMac is fine but completely preoccupied with her underwear and she needs you too.........perhaps to help with her underwear, I dunno.........But you have to be there or the thing is goin' south like a Cletus fart. Should you decide to miss again, I will have a contract put out on your life.

Spaw