On the south side
Of Chicago
In the baddest part of town
If you go down there
You better just beware
Of a chimp called Chongo Clown.

CHORUS
Sad, sad Chongo Clown
Dumbest chimp in the whole damn town
Dumber than a washed-up log
Uglier than a road-killed dog.

He got a red two-wheeled scooter
He got a ringy-bell on it too
He got some bubblegum
In his pocket for fun
And he don't never wear no shoes.

CHORUS

Friday, bout a week ago
The Clown he's shootin' dice
And at the end of the bar
Sat an ape named Alice
An' mmmmm that ape looked nice.

CHORUS

Chongo, he put the moves on
Tried to get her up against a wall
He didn't get to no base
'Cause she laughed in his face
And kicked him in the balls.

CHORUS

Then her boyfriend stomped on Chongo
'Til he was a pile of slush
Blood and gore
All around the floor
'Cause his brains had long been mush.

CHORUS